Lasting effects of Bullying

For those that do not know, when Paige was in the 2nd grade she had to deal with a bully in her class.  Notes were left in her desk several weeks in a row by the same child.  When Paige told me about it I contacted her teacher who was already working on trying to figure out who was doing it and had talked to her class about how bullying was not okay and would not be tolerated in their classroom.  They did figure out who was writing the notes and putting them into her desk as well as stealing items from her desk and she was punished.  The sad thing is that Paige was good friends with her for several years and had been in class with her since they were 4 yrs old.

Come to present day...

  Paige was given an assignment to write a story about Bullying.  Seeing that she had went through this, knew how it felt, and could write this paper knowing first hand what went on, I thought it would be an easy thing to do.  But instead it was not.  Last night, two days before the due date of the paper, she was struggling.  She wrote what she thought would be a good enough paper to just get by ( 2 short paragraphs with little details). When I questioned why it was not complete and told her I knew she could do better than what she gave me, she started breaking down.  She said she did not want to write the paper,  she could not think of anything more to say, and it was the best she could do.  I told her it was important for her to do her work to 100% of her ability and that she was not doing that with this paper.  I questioned her more, asking her if it was the topic that was hard for her.  She said yes with tears rolling down her cheek.  I tried to help her add more details to the paper... what did the girl look like, how did she feel being bullied, and more but she had shut down.  I asked her to describe herself and she said she couldn't.  I listed several of her greatest qualities and she just shook her head and did not look at me.  I knew this was not going to work.  I asked her if she wanted to change the story line of her paper some she was trying to write what had happened to her in class while changing the names of the girls.  She agreed and chose to change the story line to something else.  This seemed to help her.  We discussed an outline of  the girls and the setting as well as what the bully did.  Disconnecting her personal experiences seemed to help.  She was able to complete the paper about bullying with just a few corrections to be made for the final paper.

As a parent I did not know that she was still stewing over this.  I had not seen it in her until now.  I had noticed that she had become a more introvert but I thought that was because that was how I am.  But I have a feeling that I did not look deep enough.  I figured after everything had been dealt with at the school and the child was punished for what she had done, it was over with.  She went through last year still in school and the same class with this girl and I did not hear anything.  But deep down she was still hurting.  Sometimes it is good that the kids have these hard topics to work on.  If it were not for this paper, I would not have known. She tells me a lot but I think she holds a lot back as well.  Now I know and now we can continue to work through this.  Luckily here in England she seems really settled.  She has made a lot of great friends and we have left the bully behind and will not have to worry about her again.  I am not saying that bullying will not happen again, but I will be looking for and taking to both children about it more often.

ENGLAND MORE GETS SNOW!!!

Update: Paige

I just received Paige's term schedule ... last term they learned French, this term German... Soooo now she will have knowledge of Spanish, French, German, British English, and American English.  I think she will be one well rounded kid.  I would get them all confused = )

PROGRESS- Mathew

We have been struggling to close the gap with Mathew and his peers in the British Schools but yesterday I was elated to see that Mathew has moved up in his spelling groups.  He started at Red which is the lowest and is now in the Green Group.  One level at a time!! GO LITTLE BUDDY!  He is doing better with sounding words out to read but I still struggle to get him to sit long enough to make it through his 2 short books at one time.  It is like pulling teeth!  I fight and fight with him about it and in the end I do not see it worth getting him to the point that he does not want to even attempt.  So we take it a little at a time and I as long as I see progress in what he is doing here at home, I am happy.  Before school started he would not sit nor try to sound out words. Now he is sounding them out and blending.  We need to work on memorizing the words that can not be sounded out but we are getting there one word at a time.

Let it Snow Let It Snow Let It Snow!!

Yesterday I decided I would get up with Mat in the morning while he was getting ready for work.  We could have coffee and spend a little time together while the kiddos were still asleep and it was quiet.  We have not spent much time together since he has been busy studying for his next rank and with the Christmas schedule at work he had been working long hours.

When I got up, Mat had my coffee ready and a surprise outside!!  SNOW!

taken at 3:30am

Yeah!  I was super excited. This is our first snow here in England and last year in NJ we did not have any snow so I knew the kids would be happy to see it when they woke up.  Mat left around 4 and so I sat and watched the snow accumulate on the ground and truck.  At 6am, I could not wait any longer and went to wake the kiddos up.  Mathew was first.  Usually he is a hard one to wake up.  I carried him to the window in Paige's room and showed him outside.  At this time it is still dark and the only light around the house is the orange/yellow street light in the front that can been seen from Paige's room.

 Of course as soon as he saw the snow coming down he was excited.  We woke sis up and she was fast to get up as well.  The kids got ready for school and had breakfast.  Mathew was quick to want to go outside in the snow.  He was out without his Jacket or Gloves on. BURRR... kids do not seem to have as thin skin as I do!  I brought him back in and he and Paige both put on their winter gear.  He slipped several times on the floor in the entrance.  The snow had packed on the bottom of his boots. EKKK.  He finally made it out and the kids were in full force making snow men and Mathew throwing snow balls at his sister and I.  After they finished we packed up the car and were about to leave when my brain kicked in and realized her had loaded the car 30 min earlier that we normally do, so we got out of the truck and headed back inside to warm up a little bit before heading out to school again.

A few shots before heading off to school...

 The horse set up perfectly for the photo!

I love how I was able to get them together with the background full of snow!

So off we went to school.  The roads were not bad, dirty snow due to the stuff they placed on the road to clear it.  But not slipper or anything which made it a nice drive in.  The kids soon started heading into school and you could see their excitement as they hit the playground and started throwing snowballs ( until the teacher stopped them = ) )  (Not My kiddos)  Once they went into school, I headed back home.  It was hard to get motivated to get things done though.  My insides felt frozen and I had a great view of the snow falling which was memorizing to me.  All I wanted to do was turn on the fire and lay under my blanket!  Maybe not a good thing getting up at 330am.  

I did manage to get the laundry folded and placed in the rooms.  The dishes were done and put away and the kitchen picked up.  The living room floors were swept up because the kids had tracked dried mud from their boots into the house.  But my typical Monday was put on hold to enjoy  and take in the snow!  

I hope we get a few more days out of the snow.  But if not, I am glad we did get this day!

Hope all is well with everyone!

Happy 8th Birthday to my Nephew Mason!!  

Growing Up

Since moving to the UK the kids seems to have started to grow and mature at a faster rate.  I am not sure I am ready for it all.

Paige started a couple months ago asking if I ever had a crush.  Ding Ding... Someone has a crush on a boy! UGH... These little English boys and their little English accents are making my daughter fall for them.  Before moving here she refused to like boys.  She then started to refuse to kiss us good bye at school before taking off to go inside.  ANOTHER UGH!!!!  I did not think I would go through that with her.  I thought Mathew would be the one that would refuse to kiss us first!  Then we had Christmas and the whole Santa thing...And noooowwww... she is desperately wanting to shave her legs.  So I asked her how many girls her age shave their legs in her class and she stated 1.  Plus she wants the little gadget on the infomercial that is called the NONO because it says the hair stays away longer and it is not painful.   I have explained that she needs to be a little older in order to shave her legs and then she wanted to know at what age she is allowed to...I told her a few years and she want not happy with that.  WHY DO KIDS WANT TO GROW UP SO FAST???

Now Mathew, he is a stubborn little guy that thinks the world revolves around him and everyone should do what he wants.  He doesn't understand there are rules and that he has to follow them.  He is so hard headed and strong willed. He thinks that if he does not get his way, that he should pack his bags and live on his own. But in a split second he can be the most loving, caring, sweet boy that wants to do everything in the world for you.  He makes sure prayers are said at dinner and before bed and always has to have his hugs, kisses, butterflies, and noses before he can go to sleep.  He sleeps with his 2 nana bears, his stuffy, his dog, and his red star wars blanket.  When he is missing one he is upset and can not fall asleep until we find it.  He is doing much better with his reading and we are working on memorizing the common words instead of trying to sound them all out.  He now feels that he needs to be paid for everything he does.  He would like to earn enough money to buy a game he wants and so when he picks up his toys or puts his dish in the sink, or even just picks up something from the ground, he thinks he should be paid.  

I love them both to pieces.  I am hoping the new year brings us great things.  I know there are going to be a lot of ups and downs with the plans that have been made for us but we are going to take them in stride and hopefully make it through another year safe and happy!